Just can't calm down

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've become increasingly agitated all night. I've been lying on my bed since midnight and I think I'm subconsciously winding myself up. 
I keep getting tingles through my body, I can't breathe calmly and I've had a bunch of heart palpitations.
 

I'm fine - I'm not ill, I know its just bad anxiety, but I don't know why! 

I'm thinking of everything all at once, and of course surgery is more than a frequent visitor for my thoughts, but I'm so frustrated because its not done, its not now and its been almost 8 weeks and I still have no orthodontist!!!

My head is in my hands - why do we do that when we're stressed? I want to cry but I know its so irrational. I want to talk to my best friend but I don't want to burden him. I want to punch my ex in the face but I don't want to see him. 

Its like I'm really really thirsty and nothing is quenching it!

I'm going skiing in France - on my own, in less than 2 weeks, and now I'm thinking is this a bad idea. What if I get lost? what if I forget how to ski? What if I make no friends? What if the old friend I'm meeting doesn't meet me? I wanted to have had surgery by now - I'm not ready to get on with things until then - it doesn't feel worth it!

I'm clogging up all of your relevant brace information with this - but just typing this up, organising and rationalising my thoughts is making me feel better - having to think before I type is helping. I don't know why this is happening now - its Christmas for gods sake!

I guess everything just catches up to you sometimes

Muddy Walks on Christmas Eve

A/N - Meagan, hope you're feeling good! 

Happy Christmas Eve! 

Its such a shame we have no snow! 

I enjoyed a messy, muddy , wet walk in the local woods with my dogs.

They run crazzzy fast, and splash mud everywhere!

But  I love them :) 

Merry Christmas fellow brace bloggers!!

  

Face update - 1 year 10 months with braces

In march I will have had these braces for 2 years, and lately, my tolerance for them is wearing thin.

Its the little things that annoy me now, silly things which aren't a big deal. Its the way people treat me, and don't understand - I do explain why they're necessary to the surgery, but most of the time I get 'Oh when I had braces it was a piece of cake...they were off within 6 months...' I'm like, yes well this is different... but they don't get my frustration!

[In the convenience store]

Shop assistant - 'Do you have any ID for that?'

Me - 'Yes, I'm 21, and this is a scratch card...'

[At work on break]

Me - 'can I have a knife and fork, please?'

Manager - 'why? you're eating a sandwich.'

Me - 'I know but its easier on account of my braces..'

Manager - 'Lol, You're so weird, haven't you had those braces for like, forever?'

Me - '....forget it.'

[My local pub]

Me - 'Hey, I'll have half a cider please'

Bartender - 'Okay can I see some ID?'

Me - *Shows ID* 'I'm 21, and you went to school with me!!!'

Bartender - 'Oh well its cause of the braces...'

[Flirting with hot guy]

Hot guy - 'Erm...I really like you Sophie, but I think you're a little young for me, maybe if you were a little older..'

Me - 'I'm 21!!!'

Hot guy - 'Oh really? You know I wouldn't have guessed, you don't expect someone your age to still have braces!'

Me - 'I don't still have braces, I - ...never mind.'

I know I'm being excessive here, but I think I'm just bitter from being postponed.

END OF RANT - Back to braces!

With my hair straight you can really see the shape of my face.

My teeth alignment hasn't really changed much, I think thats why I'm getting so wound up - nothing is changing!

This, again, is my good side... I'm smiling, but you really can't tell

This is my bad side, which actually isn't much different from my good side, except I try to steer clear of photographs this side. Hate that downwards line by my mouth - makes me look sad I think.

I really want my appointment to come through soon! It's been over 6 weeks for sure! I called and they said I'm waiting cause I don't have a set orthodontist, as mines gone of to have a baby, so its just whoever is around and available for me.

The waiting game - a pre-op's worst nightmare

The Ortho-Store!

I've always suffered with ulcers, and having braces only exacerbated the problem! Here's what I do!

• For pain relief I use Anbesol - great numbing liquid, I find it works faster and longer than bonjela. You can get it in most drug stores here and US for about £1-4 depending on size. 

• As you all know, wax is the savoir when it comes to braces rubbing, but it might be cheap, but its not the best. I've even resorted to using chewing gum to cover my braces! Until Blogger Cathy told me about Gishy goo. Its a little more expensive than anything else, at £14, but its a crazy thing, it produces 2 substances which when rubbed together create a soft, but firm texture ( a bit like the stuff ortho dontists take moulds of teeth with) and it lasts a long long time. NOTE: for all you 'adults', like me, you might want to get the white colour - the green is very very green!

• Mouth guard - This I bought on a whim, but its the best investment by far. When looking for gishy goo, I found 'comfort covers' they are basically a light mouth guard used by people who perhaps play a brass instrument, or light activity. Its two plastic strips which you cut to size, they clip in to place around your braces, and VOILÀ, no more rubbing ANYWHERE on your mouth. I use them to sleep in and at just £5, they are amazing. Highly recommend. comes with a little case too!  

So there you have it! its only taken 2 years but I've finally found my 'brace survivor pack' 

I found out about these on www.orthostore.co.uk

go to 'Patient Comfort' and have a look. If they don't ship to your country/ area, look on Ebay and Amazon.

So glad I can share this with you guys! Natasha, I hope this helped! x

Blonde again! :)

 I get very irritated when things aren't changing. So I make my own changes.

Today, I:

-dyed my hair
-got another piercing
-booked my tattoo

Interesting note, I took these photos whilst I had my brace-mouth guard which I bought to sleep in (FYI totally works, best thing ever at protecting against ulcers!!) - I'm impressed that my lip doesn't look too enormous!

I'll post my tattoo when its done :)

Good night peeps!

Keeping Myself Entertained

I often wonder what my new face will look like.

I see everyone's before and afters and its so amazing to see how a person can look so much better and happier, but still keep the little expressions that make them, 'them' you know?

Me? I just want to be able to look people in the eyes when I talk to them without thinking 'are they looking at my jaw? Can they tell? They don't like me I just know it!' 

I want to take a decent photo without having to remember which side to avoid at which angle.

I think I'll be 'complete' once this is fixed. Like I can be the best person I can be.